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June Knott's Landing
06-06-2017

Under what set of circumstances is it possible to leave your bra festively adorning the iron fencing of the park? How does your duvet cover end up in the bin at the park gates?

There are a lot of things you can do in a park legally and safely but I can't work out how you might end up losing your underwear and your duvet cover! I can kind of understand if you were sleeping rough in there, but if you were sleeping rough you would probably want both your underwear and your duvet cover. It's been chilly at night recently!

Park MonitorIf it were young people enjoying themselves in a furtive fumbling sort of way, I can see that you might accidentally leave things behind but you wouldn't leave your smalls gaily flapping away on the fence for all to see! Were they helpfully put there by a third party in case they were lost? I did that once with a stuffed Rabbit I found in the play area but I'm not about to pick up someone's bra and leave it dangling in case they 'pop by' looking for it!

Maybe the bra belonged to a woman who was walking home from work in the hot weather and suddenly, it all got too much and she just decided there and then to take her underwired, uncomfortable bra off and walk home without it. Choosing comfort and happiness over restriction and sweat rash, her inner feminist leapt into action and she discarded the bra on the fence as an unwanted trapping of the patriarchy before sashaying home to shower? I'd like to think this was true.

The duvet cover is more problematic. It does show a level of preparation for furtive encounters but it's a bit on the low rent side of things. Surely a sofa in the living room is a more traditional location for such things? Or in your bedroom? Or the shed? And doesn't your mum go nuts when she can't find the duvet cover that matches the pillowcases she's just washed? Also, why did you turn it inside out before you put it in the bin? (Yuck! - Editor)

I'm never going to know the answers but I've had hours of idle speculation out of it. Every cloud has a silver lining and all that... maybe that's what the duvet cover was?

Helen Knott

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